"Fish Out of Water"

One night, in the spring of 2015, a sentence popped into my head: "There's a fish on my desk and it's weirding me out." It was a strange sentence indeed. I still don't know what led to its existence. Did I eat fish that night? Did I think about eating fish? Did I see a fish earlier that day? Was it from a dream? Did some ethereal being with a predilection for fish (or was a fish itself) whisper the idea into my ear? Whatever the reason, I now had this peculiar sentence. So I wrote an equally peculiar story around it. Then I forgot about it... for like two years. But then I rediscovered it! And the folks at Defenestration thought it was safe for your eyeballs!

Here's an excerpt: There’s a fish on my desk and it’s weirding me out. It’s just sitting there. Where did this thing come from? How could it have possibly gotten on my desk? The damn thing isn’t even cooked! It’s not baked, or sautéed, or pan-fried, or pan broiled, or grilled, or poached, or deep fried or prepared in any way that would be beneficial to me. It’s just raw, and not in a creative or delicious way, like sushi. Raw!

Suspicious, I look around the office to see if any of my co-workers had arrived before me. I’m early, but not that early. Gregg is always the first one to arrive, but I don’t see him. Maybe he’s late today. That’s unlike him. Is it a holiday? No, of course not. I would know. There is no one, no one to explain this ridiculousness. This must be some form of loathsome prank.

If you enjoyed that small taste, then read the rest in the August 2018 issue at http://www.defenestrationmag.net If you didn't enjoy this excerpt, then... well... don't read it?